Do you never enough time in the day? Are you always busy, stressed and on the go? Do you feel 100% or are things a bit off? Could stress be making you ill?
When your body is constantly on high alert, at some point your body will start to send you signals that it’s reached its maximum stress capacity. For women, this often happens during peri-menopause when our capacity for stress is reduced, but also for men in their 40’s and 50’s it seems our bodies get to the point that they have just had enough. And the pandemic years have exaggerated this for many. Physical signals might include:
- constant pain/injuries
- hair starts falling out/other hormonal issues
- weight gain around the belly area that is hard to shift
- digestive issues
- constantly catching colds and other illnesses/ailments
Actually this list is endless. Stress causes inflammation across the body which can lead to all inflammatory conditions.
Whatever it is, there comes a point when your body can only take so much stress. And at that point, even if you make time to relax, your body is full to the brim and it finds it hard to get below tipping point.
The Stress Cycle
When you stay busy all the time there is a constant stress response in your body (increased heart rate, cortisol, adrenaline and decreased digestion functions, reproductive system and immune system). This is the fight or flight response that evolved in humans to help us in the past. So if a bear was chasing you for example, your body prioritises what it needs to stay alive. These bodily changes allow you to run from that bear or fight it, to enable you to survive. But here is the important part, once that bear has gone, you suddenly feel safe again. You feel elated and relieved that you’ve escaped. Your body reacts by reducing your heart rate, adrenaline and cortisol and it quickly returns to its pre-stressed state. When this happens you have you completed the cycle of stress. Your body is happy! 🙂
Now, when you are busy all the time and constantly looking for the next job to get done whether in your work or personal life, you never complete your stress stress cycle. Your body is on a constant state of alertness. And over time that manifests as physical conditions.
How do I minimise the effects on my health?
Make sure you close all your stress cycles. So that could be individual events or what it will probably means is that every single day, without fail, you need to finish your day with something that releases your stress and makes you feel safe to relax without your brain constantly planning your next action. This can actually just be a really good nights sleep, some relaxing stretches, writing down your thoughts or reading a good book. It doesn’t have to be that long even. As long as your body and mind knows that it has reached a safe space to relax, then your stress cycle will complete.
Here are some suggestions that are known to work to close a stress cycle:
- Physical activity is the best de-stressor – go for a walk, dance to your favourite song, jump up and down, spend 10 minutes stretching
- Tense all the muscles in your body for 10 seconds and then relaxing – repeat several times
- Wrestle on the floor with your kids
- Have an orgasm
- Music, sculpture, writing – you need a place to put your frustration, rage and fear. Once it is out of your body then you are able to recover.
- My favourite one, is also one of the most effective and quick ways, is to have a 20 second supportive hug with someone you love. You need to feel safe and supported by this person. And it can’t be a stranger. You have to feel that this person has got you to help you genuinely feel safe and able to relax now. [BTW 20 seconds is a lot longer than you think!] Within that 20 seconds it has been shown that your heart rate significantly drops and all stress markers reduce.
- Sleep enough good quality hours in a row and this will count as completing your stress cycle. But it has to be good sleep. So if good sleep is not accessible to you, you need to make sure you find something else that works for you to complete your stress cycle.
Reducing your stressors
As well as managing your stress, you need to see if you can reduce your stress load in the first place. Many people feel there is no way they can take things off their plate, but is that really true. Take a really good look at your life and prioritise it. Whether it is work or home life it doesn’t make a difference. Recognise what it is that means you use so much time. Ask yourself these questions and be honest to yourself:
- Are you controlling? What do you put on your plate just because your personality doesn’t let you delegate it out? Could you let go of some of that control?
- Are there any ways to get others to help you? Perhaps your children/partner could help you out more at home. Could you afford to pay someone to help you with any tasks/jobs?
- Are you a perfectionist? Do you spend time doing jobs better than they need to be done? Is ‘good enough’ ok for some jobs in your life?
- What will happen if you don’t do certain jobs/tasks? Will the world end or will they just get done another day? Can they wait? If they can wait, how long can they wait? If it’s a while, perhaps they are not a priority at all.
- Do you set yourself goals with deadlines that stress you out? What would happen if you moved your self-set deadline? We all want to achieve things and be successful, but do you want it to be at the cost of your long-term health?
- Are you allowing time for fun? There is nothing like laughter and fun to soothe the body and close that stress cycle. Make sure you’re allowing time to let yourself go.
- Are you always giving to others but forgetting about yourself? Giving to others is obviously a wonderful thing to do, but does it come at a cost to to your health? You need to be 100% yourself in order to be able to give to others. So include time for yourself. Self-care needs to be high on your priorities list.
Once you have an understanding of why your life is so busy, you can take steps to change it. These may well require massive changes snd being brave, like changing jobs or leaving a poor relationship. Or they might be internal changes you need to make to your psyche; adjusting your thought processes to give yourself a break and stop being a perfectionist when it doesn’t matter. Or maybe it’s getting some hired help in.
Whatever your analysis tells you, remember that your body will thank you later. Stress can cause so many issues ranging from minor irritation to deadly diseases. Listen to your body! Don’t let ‘busy-ness’ take over your life.
